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Relationships 24/29/2018 To be able to do that, we will need to become more honest about our limitations, fears and aware of the behaviours that reinforce the negative patterns and start changing them. For example, if we find that we respond in anger everytime something does not go the way we want, we need to ask where the anger comes from? Are we achieving the desired effect by responding in this way? How this response make us feel afterwards? How is it affecting our relationships with those near us?
I find that when I "loose it", I feel as if I had ingested a toxic substance that makes me feel ill for a long time afterwards. I also find that instead of getting what I want, most times, my angry outburst is used against me to justify other people's bad behaviour. It just make it harder for me to manage the situation. I also find that it usually represents my own feeling of helplessness, because, when I am really sure of myself and my rights, I bahave assertuvely, but not angrily. These days, more and more, if I feel anger rising inside of me, instead of responsing immediateky, I take some time off until I feel in control again, then I respond. What I have been finding is that helps me to be more effective in getting what I need (which, surprise surprise), is not always what I first thought I wanted. :)
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